Religious Roots: My Religious Identity as Formed in The Religious Atmosphere of America

Originally written for my Religion in America course at MSU in November, 2013.

*Names and places have been changed to protect my family.

              Our communities – especially our families – have a great influence on how we think and believe, as as they are the ones who raise us and teach us, either by words or example. Sometimes the family influence is enough that the child follows in the footsteps of the parent, and sometimes it is enough that they choose another path. Sometimes, as in my case, they allow for an exploration of ideas and beliefs which allows the child to choose without forsaking the past. Although our parents and close family members (and friends) influence our ideas and beliefs, the world around us and current events also can have a great effect. Such events can also steer us towards or away from a belief or religion. 

                Although I found that there I might have ancestral ties to the German Emperors of the Holy Roman Empire, not much is well known by my parents about where their ancestors' beliefs came, how strong they were, or how they practiced those beliefs. Thus, I will start my religious history with what they do know first-hand – their parents.       

    On my father’s side, my grandfather, Carl*, came from a Roman Catholic German line that was only two generations removed from Germany. My grandmother, Virginia*, was from a Methodist family that had several generations of roots in America. These two families mixed because my grandmother had a difficult time with her mother and wanted nothing more than to irritate her. Virginia was top in her class, but desperately wanted to get away from her home. So, she set her eyes on the “Fonzie” of her class, my grandfather. Carl was the bad boy that perfectly irritated Virginia's mother. They dated and when my grandmother found that she was with child, they had a shotgun marriage. They married at the clerk’s office, as my grandmother had no intention of converting to Roman Catholicism.  My grandfather was a trucker and spent many days on the road. As such, and perhaps for other reasons, he was a non-practicing Catholic that smoked, drank, and womanized. It wasn't until he fell ill with Leukemia later in life that he slowed down and started wanting a more spiritual life. My grandmother ultimately had an influence on him with her regular church attendance and her nightly bible reading (not to mention the car and kitchen radios were always dialed to Christian stations). Three years before he passed away he joined the church that Virginia belonged to – but it wasn't a Methodist church.

               Later in her adult life, my grandmother took a path away from the Methodist church, and onto one of non-denominational Christianity by joining a Church of Christ in Ohio.  It was my father, David*, who was the driving force behind that change. David had become involved in the One Way Crusades, a spiritual Christian movement that was part of the nationwide Jesus Movement of the late 1960s and early 1970s[1], in their hometown of Swanton*, Ohio. He was inspired by the movement and joined the Church of Christ[2]. David's enthusiasm inspired his mother, my grandmother (Virginia), to leave her family church and also become a member of the Church of Christ (which my grandfather later joined before his death). It was because of my fathers involvement with this American spiritual revitalization movement that my grandmother became more religious and conservative[3] in her beliefs. My father’s religious influence didn't end with my grandmother.

                David had been attending Toledo University, studying to become an engineer, when he broke his finger in a machine at the wire factory at which he worked, impeding his ability to complete his homework and engineering drawings in an acceptable manner. It was because of this event and his involvement in the One Way Crusades that the members of the church convinced him (with financial support) to attend Great Lakes Bible College in Lansing, Michigan with the purpose of becoming a preacher[4]. My father needed some time to reflect on his beliefs, so saw this opportunity as perfect for him and gave him a potential future, where it looked like his future in engineering had ended.  And then he met my mother.            

    Denise*, my mother, was the daughter of parents that were both born and raised Episcopalian. My grandfather, William*, was born in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan to an Episcopalian family. He met and married my Grandmother, Millie*, when he was stationed abroad in England in 1948. They were married at the registrar’s office, much like my parental grandparents, but for vastly different reasons. Both William and Millie were Episcopalian[5], but the Episcopal Church required a “calling of the banns” for five weeks before a marriage can be officiated in the church. William was to be heading back home to America a week after having met Millie and didn't want to leave without her, so they skipped the traditional wedding.

                Once my maternal grandparents were in the states and they both attended Episcopal Churches regularly and even helped build an Episcopal Church in Lansing, Michigan. They raised my mother, Denise, Episcopalian as well. Like many teens in the late 1960s and early 1970s, Denise was very rebellious; she was a true “hippy”. She turned rebellious in part because of her father’s alcohol use and its influence on her and in part because of a horrid experience she had at the hands of her date when she was 14 – she was raped, not once, but twice by the same young man. (Many people might not realize it, but statistics show that date rape is not a rare event for teenage girls, and it often goes unreported - please see this link for stats on teen violence, including rape). That experience threw my mother into a tail-spin that led to drugs, alcohol, car theft, and even the circus. It also caused her to stop believing in a God and stop attending church with her parents. It wasn't until after she met my father that she returned to church.

                My Parents met on the campus of Great Lakes Bible College in Lansing, Michigan, as it was situated close to my maternal grandparents’ home. Denise and David met while my mom was skipping her high school classes and hanging out on the college campus. My father was still a “Jesus freak”[6] and my mother was still very rebellious and still questioning the existence of God. She started accompanying my father to various Christian activities that he took part in at the college, and with His House Ministries, including handing out Bibles in downtown Lansing. Originally, she participated because she wanted to impress David, and may have even been baptized at the Church of Christ simply because she became engaged to my father, as she had already been baptized in the Episcopal Church. However it started, being around my father and his faith helped her faith in God and Jesus regrow.  After their wedding in the Episcopal Church (as is the tradition for women in my family - we've all been married there), they moved to Ohio, where my dad had already found a job. There, they regularly attended the Church of Christ.

                While in Ohio, as young newlyweds, money was extremely tight for my parents. They became extremely upset with the Church of Christ because when they needed help the most, the church virtually ignored them except ask for tithes. They had no phone, no heat, and no groceries and had specifically asked the church for help in such difficult times. Instead of helping, the only time the church took any interest in my parents, now that David was no longer pursuing a career as a pastor, was to visit them in their trailer to ask them how much they would be tithing. In 1975, my parents were living in Wauseon, Ohio, where they had met and made friends with their neighbors, who eventually introduced them to a man and house “church” that directly changed the way my parents viewed church and religion thereafter. That man was Bill Hinkle.

                Bill Hinkle was a “born again”, fundamentalist, evangelical Christian that had found God while in prison. From the stories my parents tell, he was very charismatic and manipulative, much like the now infamous Jim Jones. Originally, my parents enjoyed their new church and new friends. They enjoyed the fellowship that they found and felt that they belonged. They really enjoyed feeling like part of a family, since they already had their own dreams of communal living, as were prominent in the 1970s[7]. Over time, things changed in a very negative way and they found out what this "church" was really about. Hinkle taught that husbands were to be obeyed by their wives, and that the men must beat and/or rape their wives into submission, if necessary. The threat of violence and rape was frequently used to control the group[8]. After becoming part of Hinkle’s group, my father started hitting my mother. He did this even while knowing in his heart it was wrong, as he often challenged Hinkle on his teachings and didn't really want to be a part of that church, but had gone along for my mother (she desperately needed to "belong"). He didn't even protect her from Hinkle’s threats and the groups’ attacks. When they look back on it now, they realize how young, naïve, and needy[9] they were to have been suck into such a “cult”, as they call it.

                After about a year of the new house church and realizing that things were only getting worse in the group and in their own marriage from the violence and abuse, my mother finally decided to get out and even left my father in the process. She escaped back to Lansing with her parents, where she received death threats as well as other threats of violence and rape from Hinkle if she didn't return to the Church. In the meantime, my father also received threats from the group, as well as admonishment for “losing control of his wife”. He did not go back to the Church while my mother was gone, and together, they never went back when she returned to my father a week later. A month later, they decided to leave for Lansing to start anew and get a clean break from Hinkle and his crew.

                Once in Lansing, my parents tried attending a Church of Christ, but my mother had developed a fear of church at this point. So, the pastor of the church came to their house and counseled my mother. From there on, my parents were in and out of different churches because it seemed that every new one they joined, some political issue or scandal would develop within the church and the church would fail. On top of that, my brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor and attending church while he was in the hospital was nearly impossible for my parents. They eventually decided that they believed that God was everywhere and they didn't need a church to be believers, or even to hold communion. To them, “church” became everywhere and anywhere[10], but “organized church” became nothing but dirty words[11].  For years they were holiday Episcopalians, returning to the church of Denise’s youth, but eventually, they decided that they preferred church from the couch during the rise of televangelism (such as the Hour of Power - Crystal Cathedral) until even that church failed (although it has since been resurrected by Bobby Schuller). Now they are content to believe in God and the Bible, but have no use for the walls of an organized church. This was the environment and the beliefs around which I was raised.

                Because we didn't attend church regularly and church was not a focus of our lives, Christianity for me was always more of a way of life than adherence to a particular doctrine. I mostly attended church with either of my grandmothers and that is where most of my childhood religious instruction took place, with the exception of lessons of faith from my parents.

My grandmother’s (Virginia) church was rather conservative, as Churches of Christ were known for[12] and they didn't like to have children at mass, so I didn't get much from going there, except the feeling that I wasn't wanted. My nana’s (Millie) church was the opposite[13] and I enjoyed going with her. I liked going because I liked to hear the sermon and the stories from the bible. I could always find some way that they were speaking to me. I often thought of Jesus, as I stared up at the crucifixion statue in front of us on the wall. I often thought of what it must have been like to be him; how he was so strong and courageous. I suppose that he was a hero to me. Someone to look up to, to want to be like, but I couldn't worship him like the others did. I honored him, but I usually saved my worship for God. That was where I started to get off track with the rest of my family and with other Christians. I questioned the idea of Christ as God incarnate and as the only son of God. I felt we were all God’s children in a way, that without God, we couldn't exist. I also had a hard time thinking of God as a man. For me, God was this big unexplainable mystery. Although I didn't believe in Jesus as God, I still asked to be baptized "in the name of God" in my early 20s. I believed it was an outward sign of an inward love and I do not regret that decision.

                While I was being counselled before my baptism (as required in the Episcopal church for adult baptism), my priest and I would have wonderful discussions and he seemed very understanding and patient with my questions and challenges. However, it was because of these same questions that I typically wasn't allowed to participate in bible study groups. My priest once confided in me that although he appreciated my curiosity and the way my brain worked, that some, if not many, members of the congregation would be upset by it. I was even banned from my grandmother's adult bible study when I was only a teenager. This refusal to allow questions about what we were being taught didn't dissuade me - it only encouraged me to question things even more.

                 Sometime around 2007-8 I talked to the priest of the Episcopal church my husband and I had moved to because I wanted to ask how we know if we are being called by God (Yes, I believe I received such a call, although I didn't understand it). He suggested I needed professional help, at which point I asked why he was a priest because I didn't sense that he had a calling like the priest of my youth did. After he confided that he chose the cloth as a vocation, not from a calling, and because of how he insulted me, my husband and I decided not to return. Our issue was not with the Episcopal church, but the leader of this particular church.  

Despite the fear of house churches that had been instilled in me from my parents, I felt drawn to a local house church called Journey. I made my husband go with me, as I was nervous about it. He liked it so much, that he asked to be baptized the second time we went. I liked the way in which the church was run, as it allowed many questions from the congregation. Everyone was considered congregate and preacher and the idea was to try to be more like the proto-Christians of the 1^st century. Still, I sensed that over time they were getting annoyed with my thoughts and questions, which were still very different from the rest. My husband and I also started having marital problems as I became very ill with Fibromyalgia, and just getting to church became practically impossible for me. I became disillusioned with the new group as they didn't seem to notice that I was missing or try to reach me when I couldn't leave my bed.

In order to reach others while I was bedridden, I turned to the computer and online communities. It was there that I was introduced to a new path. I met someone in a chat room and immediately jumped into my favorite topic: spirituality. We discussed how we believed in our own spirituality and discussed God. I found myself agreeing with everything he was saying, which I found intriguing because I was never a traditional Christian and would often come across some things to disagree on. In the course of our conversation, I asked him, finally, what his faith was. I was surprised when he said he was Muslim. This statement took me aback because Islam was essentially foreign to me.

Since the beginning of 2006, I had read about many religions and mythologies around the globe (because of that "calling" I believe I received), yet Islam was something I knew very little about, with the exception of what was given to us via the news media (which I never quite believed). It was interesting to me that I met this individual, because I was indeed already interested in learning more about Islam. I was frustrated that I didn't know much about this religion that was the second most popular in the world. In fact, the previous Christmas I had even asked for an English translation of the Qur’an for Christmas. My parents laughed at my request though, saying that it was “probably sacrilegious” to purchase it for me. Needless to say, I didn't receive it.

After my meeting with this individual online, I decided it was time for me to purchase the Qur’an and read it for myself.  I found by reading the Qur'an that Islam is much like Christianity. The differences are few, but major. The same things I questioned as a child and young woman were explained in the Qur’an in a way that made sense to me. I was finding myself reading what I already believed. For the most part, Islam was very easy for me to accept. In fact, I believe I accepted it by the time I finished reading the Qur'an the first time. It took me a while before I “officially” accepted Islam by saying shahada with friends. My hesitation was not so much about the faith but about social acceptance, as I knew that Muslims were frequently discriminated against in America[14], and I happened to live in a very rural, white, Christian area. After a time though, I decided that I believed what I believed and social acceptance or lack thereof wasn't going to change that. I did, however, run into such discrimination in the court system when my (now) ex-husband petitioned the court for full custody, citing my conversion as one of the reasons the children should be removed from me. The referee originally granted his request and made several negative comments about Islam in court while defending his opinion. Thankfully, the judge overturned his ruling and we maintained the joint custody arrangement that we were already operating under. 

Even with Islam, I question things. For me, if it doesn't make sense, or if I don’t understand it, then I need to find out why. One thing I like about Islam is the fact that I am told to use the brain God gave me. I am sure that my experience growing up being told not to question things led me to appreciating this aspect a lot.

When my parents found out I converted, they were understandably confused and upset, but over time my parents, friends, and family saw that I was the same person I had always been. (Interestingly, one person who gave me his support from the first was the priest from my youth, who I still refer to as my priest - he said it didn't surprise him that I had accepted Islam). I’m still a loudmouthed, opinionated, liberal woman (I do tend to get a lot of flak from the Muslim community for this fact, but have found refuge in a group called Muslims for Progressive Values[15]).

In conclusion, I can honestly say that my parent’s beliefs and experiences with church has directly influenced me – not to cause me to join or avoid any particular religion, but instead to explore and find what suited me best.  I can definitely say that I believe in God much because of my parents’ faith, but the looseness of structure about that belief is what allowed me to question and seek.

Bibliography

Allen, Tracy. "Bell-Bottoms + Bible = Jesus Freak." The Jesus Movement of the 70s. 2006. http://www.icyte.com/system/snapshots/fs1/2/8/4/0/2840404a2ebe3a3a1c6cfc183fa3b3c4b7105c74/index.html (accessed November 9, 2013).

Chryssides, George. Exploring New Religions. London: Continuum International Publishing, 1999.

Lewis, James R. Cults: A Reference Handbook, 2nd Ed. Santa Barbara: ABC-CLIO, Inc., 2005.

Lippy, Charles H., and Peter W. Williams, . "Churches of Christ." Encyclopedia of Religion in America. 2010. http://library.cqpress.com.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/era/encyra_460.1 (accessed November 11, 2013).

Lippy, Charles H., and Peter W. Williams, . "Episcopalians: Twentieth and Twenty-First Centuries." Encyclopedia of Religion in America. 2010. http://library.cqpress.com.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/era/encyra_745.1 (accessed November 9, 2013).

Lippy, Charles H., and Peter W. Williams, . "Islam in North America." Encyclopedia of Religion in America. 2010. http://library.cqpress.com.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/era/encyra_1083.2 (accessed November 9, 2013).

Lippy, Charles H., and Peter W. Williams, . "New Religious Movements: Twentieth Century." Encyclopedia of Religion in America. 2010. http://library.cqpress.com.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/era/encyra_1584.1. (accessed November 9, 2013).

Lippy, Charles H., and Peter W. Williams, . "Spirituality." Encyclopedia of Religion in America. 2010. http://library.cqpress.com.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/era/encyra_2139.1. (accessed November 9, 2013).

Magee, Malcom. "REL 220 Lecture." East Lansing, September 4, 2013.

MPV USA. Muslims for Progessive Values: Our Principles. 2012. http://mpvusa.org/our-principles/ (accessed November 9, 2013).

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[1] “The Jesus Movement is classically characterized by long hair, bell bottom wearing, tract delivering, finger to the sky pointing, Christian young adults on the late 1960’s and 70’s.” (Allen 2006)

[2] “The 1950s and 1960s were particularly heady days for the Churches of Christ. They enjoyed an explosion in numbers” (Churches of Christ 2010)

[3] “a conservative denomination” (Churches of Christ 2010)

[4] “To answer the call for additional ministers” (Churches of Christ 2010)

[5] Anglo-Catholics marrying their own: this is reminiscent of how the English settlers also married their own, rather than mixing with the natives or other protestant settlers. (Magee 2013)

[6] (Chryssides 1999)

[7] (New Religious Movements: Twentieth Century. 2010)

[8] Brainwashing (Lewis 2005)

[9] Young, needy, and disillusioned people were/are often the victims of such cults in America.  (New Religious Movements: Twentieth Century. 2010)

[10] This was a sentiment that was common among spiritualists of the time. (Spirituality 2010)

[11] As was the sentiment of many who have left such cult situations. They became part of the Anti-cult movements of the time. (New Religious Movements: Twentieth Century. 2010)

[12] “a conservative denomination” (Churches of Christ 2010)

[13] “Beginning in the 1950s efforts to link social justice and spiritual reform would diverge as liberal and conservative factions in the church hardened.” (Episcopalians: Twentieth and Twenty-First Centuries 2010) – The Episcopal church I grew up in tended to be more liberal.

[14] “Muslims have long faced misunderstanding of and discrimination for their religious beliefs” (Islam in North America 2010)

[15] MPV is a minority group of Muslims that is very inclusive. They include Sunni, Shi’a, Quranists, Sufi, etc. and recognize the LGBT community. (MPV USA 2012)

Click link for photo credit: 
Baptism

A special thanks for all who have stuck by me and chose to love me and try to understand me instead of casting me aside, especially my mom and dad, whom I would be lost without. 

Revealing the Progressive Revert

Recently, I was invited to participate as part of a "revert" panel at a Muslim Student Association event at the University I attend. I participated once before, a couple of years ago when I was still a baby in Islam. I was terribly nervous this time around. Over the past couple of years, I have gone through a lot while finding my Muslim identity, including my first true taste of discrimination. It took me a while to find my ummah, and now that I have, I am fairly proud to identify myself as a Progressive Muslim. However, I was a bit terrified that I might be too outspoken about my progressiveness at this event. I didn't want to alienate anyone from me, ruffle any feathers, etc, but I also didn't want to compromise who I am to "tone it down".

Although I only recently found my Muslim identity, I haven't really changed. I used to feel bad for not feeling the need to follow the traditional course, for not conforming, but every time I thought about conforming, it was to "fit in", and that to me was the wrong reason. Now that I know I am not alone out here, I am less apologetic for the way I believe, and maybe a little more outspoken about it, but it's not the popular voice that I speak with, if you know what I mean.

So, mere hours before the event I was sitting nervously, thinking about this dilemma I felt I had and I finally realized that I only had to ask for Allah's help and speak from my heart. Maybe, just maybe, there would be even just one other person in the room that felt lost like I did, and I could let them know that s/he is not alone and that if they needed another progressive shoulder to cry on, they might find it in me.

The first time I participated in this event, I did speak up about being a non-hijabi. When one of the reverts made a comment about "this is how a Muslim woman looks" - in full abaya and hijab (which I support and respect!), I raised my hand, told her I respected her but that I needed to say, pointing to myself, that "this is also what a Muslim woman looks like". So, I figured that this MSA crowd may already have a clue about how I am - the thought that occurred there was that maybe I was getting all worked up over nothing.

There ended up being six of us on the panel and I was not the long-winded one, for once. So, we didn't have much time for other than the "usual" questions. The final question of the night is the one that got me. Someone asked how hard it was to change our behaviors, basically to become good practicing Muslims - 5 prayers a day, wear hijab, eat all halal, etc. He was asking about rules and rituals, not about our hearts.

So, being the only non-hijabi on the panel (out of 4 women), and sitting in a dress that showed my calves, forearms, and my chest and neck (above my cleavage), I knew it was time to face it. I took the microphone and said, "well, rules and rituals mean less to me than intention and meaning, as you can see by looking at me." I went on to explain how frustrating it is to have everyone expect you to be the poster-child for Islam when you convert. How, I am not perfect, nor will I be, no matter how hard I strive to be... that I was human and had the same struggles as the rest of them. I explained how I nearly lost a dear friend of mine because I haven't fulfilled his expectations of me either and how my progressive line of thought disappoints and somewhat offends his traditional reason. I also explained that I do what I do with thought and intention behind it and that I am not one to do something I don't believe in just to fit in. That I have my reasons as to why I do what I do and that I have a relationship with God that is my own and if I have failings, and of course I do, I will face them and be responsible for them. I was unapologetic, but honest.

I am sure I ruffled some feathers, but I did notice a couple of people nodding as I was talking, which gave me strength. One was a male convert I am friends with and one was a female I didn't know yet. After we finished I had several women come up to me and thank me for being honest and wanted to have my contact information to be able to talk to me later about "stuff". My male fellow-convert friend also mentioned me and something I said about not putting us converts up on pedestals (he agreed) on his FB wall. It was interesting to see the conversation that followed. It seems that there are two views on converts, one is that we are somehow better because we chose Islam and have dealt with the struggles of that choice and the other is that we are not better because we have to struggle to be Muslim, whereas born Muslims grew up with the rules and rituals and that they are habits that they have now. And that frustrates me. They still are labeling us as inherently different, whereas I think we are more the same than they wish to admit.

Now I am just curious to find out if I will be invited back a third time...

Choosing Islam: Women in the West

Introduction

In the wake of 9/11, Islam has been under much scrutiny in the west, especially in America. The media, the government, and the general public are now more aware of this “eastern” or, rather, “middle eastern” religion than there were prior to the Twin Towers and the Pentagon attacks. Many people in the west have come to fear this religion, especially fundamentalist Christians, because of the terrorist acts of Al-Qaeda. Despite this general fear and distrust of Islam in the west, many western women have been accepting Islam as their new religion. What seems most shocking about this phenomenon is the idea that many people have about how Islam treats women; they believe that Islam is oppressive to women. So the obvious question asked is: Why are western women choosing Islam?

Historically, Islam has actually been present in America since at least the days of slavery. It is estimated that ten to twenty-five percent of the Africans that were enslaved and brought to American in seventeenth to nineteenth centuries were Muslim. There is actually a well-known book (and TV series) that shows how Islam did exist in America via African slaves: “Roots”. Although Islam may have been present in American via slavery, the practice of Islam by the slaves was washed away by the demands of their “masters”, who required them to follow their own religion, typically Christianity. The Islamic names were also washed away by the taking on of the masters’ names.  (Simmons) This loss of practice and knowledge is one reason why Islam seems so new in America to many of her public.

Click to see a short video about Roots and Islam

African Americans play a big part in the surge of women accepting Islam in America. Part of this phenomenon is in reaction or response to the slave days. In some ways, African Americans that descended from slaves felt that they could take back their ancestors’ identities by embracing Islam. Islam also gave them a voice. Islam gave them a way to belong and a way to organize against oppression in the USA and fight for their civil liberties. Islam for many African Americans may have been more of a political choice than religious at first, but ultimately became religious. (Simmons)

Islam did not enter America only once with slavery. Carol Anway, in her book titled, Daughters of another Path, mentions a booklet called A Century of Islam in America, by Yvonne Haddad, in which three waves of Muslim immigration is mentioned: the first in 1875, a second in the 1930s that is stopped by World War II, and a third in the 1950s and 60s. These waves were part of the growth of Islam in America, a growth that brought this “other” religion to cities and Universities across America, where it started to become more likely that Americans would get to know Islam from friends, fellow students, neighbors, and co-workers. (Anway) As women in the west began learning about Islam, some began to accept Islam as their own religion, converting sometimes from Christianity, other religions, or from an atheistic or secular position. There has not been a lot of research into why women in the west are accepting Islam more and more, but some factors have been identified.

Marriage

One of the reasons women convert to Islam is through marriage to a Muslim man. One might think that she is obligated to covert for the sake of the marriage, as is often the case in Catholicism and Judaism, but this is not the case. Muslim men are allowed to marry a woman who is Muslim, Christian, or Jewish. As long as she is one of “the people of the book”, the marriage is halal, or lawful. It is only men that are obligated to convert for the sake of marriage, as a Muslim woman is to marry only a Muslim man.

Even though women are not obligated to convert for the sake of the marriage, they often do. There are a few reasons this occurs. Sometimes a woman will fall in love with a Muslim man and will convert to his religion to become more attractive to him as a potential wife. If she converts after marriage, it might be in an effort to be more accepted by her husband and his family, or by the community to which he belongs. (Allievi) As much as they might be expected to be, these are not always the reasons a woman who marries a Muslim man will convert to Islam herself.

Often times, it is the introduction to Islam via her love interest, or husband that brings her to the acceptance of Islam. It is not always for social reasons, but also, and many times, is because she finds something fulfilling about Islam itself. Perhaps she had never really known about Islam before she met her love interest and in the process of getting to know him, she gets to know Islam, and then ultimately accepts it for herself. (Anway)

 

Acquaintance

Similar to learning about Islam through a significant other, or husband, many women first learn about Islam through a friend, co-worker, fellow student, or colleague. She may find their new Muslim friend to be unusual and will be inquisitive about their religion, maybe even attempt to convert them to her own religion. The best way to prepare for a debate is to know your opponent, and so evangelical Christians looking to convert their new Muslim friend to Christianity start studying the Qur’an in an attempt to become familiar with this other religion and to build arguments against it. What they find occurs during their studies, though, is that they are drawn to Islam and find themselves understanding and even agreeing with what they find in the Qur’an. They find themselves wanting to learn more about Islam and then accept Islam instead of converting their friend. (Nieuwkerk)

Aminah Assilmi converted to
Islam while trying to evangelize
the Muslims in her college drama class.

Even if evangelism is not a motive in learning about Islam, many people who have made a Muslim acquaintance find themselves wanting to learn more. Sometimes it is a pious nature of their Muslim friend that intrigues the non-Muslims. Most times they are surprised by the natures of their new friend – they are nothing like the terrorists of 9/11! When they realize their own ignorance of the religion, they want to learn more in an attempt to understand their friend, co-worker, or colleague better. Again, it is during this exploration that they find something within what they learn that draws them in to an acceptance of Islam. (Haddad)

Quest for Answers

Sometimes, as in the way of acquaintance, converts originally stumbled upon Islam; sometimes it is a quest of knowledge or a quest for answers to what doesn’t make sense that leads converts to Islam. Perhaps it is dissatisfaction for the explanations of certain aspects of the religion they were raised with that leads them on such a quest. These people are naturally inquisitive and don’t rest with an answer that doesn’t make sense to them. They may seek answers in many different religions before settling on Islam. The common report with these converts is that they found that what they read in the Qur’an not only made sense to them logically, but also answered those questions that had long plagued them and that no one else, not even their clergy could answer. (Haddad)

Often the intellectual pursuits come from Christianity. When the trinity or the idea of Jesus as the son of God or as God incarnate don’t make sense, or when bible contradictions are frustrating and the lack of adequate answers even more so, converts find solace in the logic and clearness of the Qur’an. Questions that they felt they would never have answers to, suddenly make sense. Science agrees with religion. Religion agrees with logic. (Anway)

Camilla Leyland, 32, pictured in Western and Muslim dress,
converted to Islam in her mid-20s for 'intellectual and feminist reasons'

Anti-Feminism

Some women in the west are frustrated with the expectations thrust upon them and they see Islam as a way to be a woman and be comfortable in traditional gender roles without feeling like they have let other women down in the quest for equality among men in society. With feminism, often women are expected not only to be women in a traditional sense, or traditional feminine role, but are also now expected to compete with men. In some ways, women are expected to be both men and women, whereas men are only expected to be men. This can be very exhausting and frustrating for women that are perfectly happy to be a mom and a wife or who are tired of expecting to be super-woman all of the time. There is a common idea, a misconception that Islam is anti-feminist. Islam calls for equity between men and women, but does recognize gender differences. It is the fact that Islam allows for these gender differences that sometimes is a draw for women.

Women are cherished in Islam. There is a misconception in the west that Muslim women are oppressed, often because of the Islamic coverings – abaya, hijab, and/or niqab – that many Muslim women wear. Women are revered for being mothers. Women are protected, cared for, and provided for by men in Islam. This can be a very strong draw for women that are tired of being subjected to the common abuses they face in western society. In Islam it is OK to be a stay at home mother who focuses on raising her children properly. She is not looked down upon for not competing with man in the workforce, rather she is protected and provided for because of the important job she has in raising the children to be successful adults. 

Feminism

Although it seems contradictory to the idea many people have - that Islam is anti-feminist, Islam frequently gives women a voice in what is often a man’s world. The Qur’an is specific about the equity between men and women, and was written long before women’s suffrage in America. Women often refer to the fact that being Muslim and wearing hijab and/or abaya makes them more equal with men. The coverings force others to look at them for their minds and abilities rather than their looks. They feel safer and free-er from objectification.

Shaikha Shakina Reinhertz

A particular “brand” of Islam, Sufism, is especially appealing to many feminist types. Sufism gives not only importance to women, but even allows women to be religious leaders. Sufism is mystical, more spiritual and less confined by the “rules” of Sunni or Shi’a Islam. Feminists often like the freedom of expression and teachings that Sufism offers them. (Jawad)

Problem Solving

Some who have studied conversion in the west have suggested that perhaps the conversion to Islam is sometimes a subconscious reaction to societal or personal problems the convert perceives. (Wohlrab-Sahr) Islam gives these converts a way to correct the problems they either have experienced or perceive as problems in society. (Jawad) And converts often embrace Islam because dissatisfaction with western cultural norms as a motivating factor. (Zebiri) For African Americans, Islam is a way to reclaim their identity and to raise political clout. (Simmons) For women who are tired of feminism, it is a way to find peace in the fact that they are OK with traditional gender roles. For women that are tired of the way women are sexualized and objectified in the west, Islam gives them a way to correct what they see as immorality and/or a way to no longer be subjected to objectification and over-sexualization. (Nieuwkerk) For women that have had a hard time feeling like they fit in anywhere, conversion gives them a new start to belong to something and with others.

In many ways, the problem solving that Islam provides is in the form of a new identity for the convert. This can come in the form of a new outer appearance, such as donning the hijab (typically referring to the head covering), or even niqab (face veil). Sometimes the new identity is as extreme as a legal name change to that of a more Islamic name. (Allievi) Even being part of a new community, or Ummah, can be a part of the new identity building process. In some ways, the new identity is a way for the convert to distance herself from something that she considered to be a problem in her previous “life” as a non-Muslim.

So, who are these women that are accepting Islam? Are they poor, uneducated, battered and abused women that are seeking a new identity in a foreign religion? The answers seem to be surprising to popular media and to some researchers. While compiling research for her book, Daughters of Another path, Carol Anway found that over 50% of her respondents held a Bachelor’s degree or higher. During her fieldwork for Women Embracing Islam, Karin van Nieuwkerk found that, “most converts appear to be of middle-class background” and that they have their first experience with Islam in the university setting. It is perhaps the natural inquisitive tendencies that ultimately lead many higher educated women (who are more likely from middle to upper level financial demographics to have had the opportunity to have a higher education in the first place) to find a home in Islam. Conversion to Islam is not exactly an easy process in the west, however. 

Costs / Consequences
The stumbling blocks that many converts run into don’t necessarily make the choice to accept Islam a difficult one, but instead provide for some costs, or consequences in their family and social lives. Due to misconceptions, many times the newly converted woman is confronted with opposition from the people she loves most, her family. (Anway) The misconceptions about Islam that many people in the west hold come mostly from a lack of knowledge about the religion, some from bad examples (e.g. Al-Qaeda), and others from a confusion between culture and religion. Sometimes the family hoped that their daughter/sister/niece was just acting out, trying on a new religion like she was trying on clothes, and hope that like when she was a teenager, it was a “phase” that she would grow out of.

Especially in the wake of 9/11, the families and friends may be concerned that their loved one has gotten involved in terrorism, or worry about how their’ daughter’s choice will reflect on them in the community which they belong. They don’t necessarily see her choice to convert as her own, but that of the family at large. If the new convert chooses to don the hijab or other traditionally Islamic clothing, it can be even harder for others to accept. It is one thing if she changes something inwardly, but wholly another when she makes it obvious to all. One tale of how a parent reacted is given in Carol Anway’s Daughters of Another Path: “They were very upset at first but now they reluctantly accept it. My father got very angry and twisted my arm and told me about my hijab, to ‘take that thing off because I don’t want to be seen with you in public.’”

Sometimes the parents of a convert see her choice as a personal insult, especially if they are particularly religious in the previous faith. They see their daughter’s choice as a slap in the face or an overt rejection. (Jawad) Over time, if the family ties are strong and the convert and the family and friends give each other a chance to see how things will be, they learn that this is a decision that she made – for herself and not “to” anyone. Most times, but not always, a new understanding is found and the relationships continue on in a positive direction.

Relationships with family and friends or within a home community are not the only stumbling blocks that converts come across. They also frequently have to deal with the stigma of being a convert and not a born-Muslim. Sometimes, when they enter the Muslim community, they are not looked upon as serious Muslims by their sisters-in-faith that were born and raised Muslim. Converts can feel scrutinized in the Mosques by the older generation immigrant women and in extreme cases, ostracized. (Haddad) They may struggle to not only be outcast by the society that they came from, but also the one that they were originally so happily joining.

Another way in which converts sometimes struggle with their Ummah, or Muslim community, is that often new converts are akin to born-again Christians. They are very excited about their new found faith and overzealous in not only their adaption of it in their own lives but will critique and correct those around them.  It may be annoying to some born Muslims, who like most people, don’t like to be corrected when they are not following the “rules”. Some of the Ummah, however, may actually be relieved and revived by the spirit of their new sisters. Often new converts have researched Islam more than those that have grown up learning about Islam and can be a source of knowledge about the separation between religion and culture. It can be an avenue of healthy dialogues and the foundation of lasting friendships.

Converts to Islam, especially women converts, play an important role in their Ummah and in their society at large. Converts may or may not be keenly aware of this new role – that of a mediator. The convert is the tie between the west and the “other”. She is one that can help explain the two halves to each other and mediate the conflicts that may or may not erroneously arrive. She may teach her family, friends, and home community about their misconceptions of Islam. She may correct their misunderstandings and foster a new perception about this “foreign” religion. That which is known is far less scary than that which is unknown. She may also be able to help foster a new relationship between the Muslim community and non-Muslims via opportunities for mixing and meeting each other.

Sometimes this new role is realized and not always wanted. It can be scary for the convert to be an example to others. What if she is not a good example? She doesn’t want to give non-Muslims the wrong idea about the faith and she doesn’t want to be scrutinized by her new Muslim community in the same way. She is often times still learning and adapting to her new found faith. Conversion is rarely a phenomenon that lasts only a moment. Converts often convert to Islam slowly and may change their attitudes and adopt different parts or degrees of Islam over time. Sometimes she starts out zealous and then cools down; sometimes she starts out slow and becomes more enraptured over time.

Lastly, a hurdle in the west for the new convert is that of discrimination. In Islam, many women feel that wearing the traditional Islamic coverings like the hijab, abaya, and/or niqab makes them more equal to men as they are judged on their minds and abilities rather than their looks. In the Middle East, this may very well be the case. In America, especially since 9/11 and in the smaller, less urbanized areas, women in traditional dress are more likely to be discriminated against in the workplace than Muslim women that look “like everyone else”. For women that have already been fighting in a man’s world – and maybe have won – to face this new challenge can be extremely difficult. They may be tempted to doff the traditional dress, even if they believe they should wear it, just so they will not be discriminated against. 

Conclusion
Many women in the west have been accepting Islam more and more over the years. The tragedy of 9/11 didn’t seem to slow down this phenomenon, but instead made more people aware of and curious about Islam. The inquisitive individuals who may have had a life filled with questions about their religion or had never found adequate answers or felt a void in their life are attracted to Islam for its logic and simple nature.

Many female converts meet their first Muslim friend at University and sometimes as a significant other. Even if her future husband is her motivation for learning about Islam, it is not by force or coercion that brings her to the faith. Many times, she is the one that brings him back to practicing the faith regularly and with more conviction.

New converts find peace in their decision on one hand, but a struggle on the other. They have to face telling their family and friends about their choice and risk rejection or opposition. They struggle with acceptance within their new Ummah and proving themselves to born-Muslims. They find themselves as an instant mediator between Islam and the west – often working hard to correct misconceptions and spread awareness about True Islam versus the faith of the extremist groups.

These women are not oppressed and come from some of the free-est societies in the world. Sometimes their choice to accept Islam is in a backlash against feminism that has made things more difficult on women – they see how women and mothers are venerated in Islam and they wish for equity but to also be able to live out the gender roles that feel more natural to them. For them, Islam is not only a logical faith that has answered their questions, but allows them to live the identity that they feel most comfortable with.

Bibliography

Allievi, Stefano. "The Shifting Significance fo the Halal/Haram Frontier." Women Embracing Islam: Gender and Conversion in the West. Ed. Karin van Nieukerk. Austin: University of Texas Press, 2006. 120-149.

Anway, Carol L. Daughters of Another Path. Yawna Publications, 1995.

Haddad, Yvonne Yazbeck. "The Quest for Peace in Submission." Women Embracing Islam: Gender and Conversion in the WEst. Austin: University of Texas Press, 2006. 19-47.

Jawad, Haifaa. "Female Conversion to Islam." Women Embracing Islam: Gender and Conversion in the West. Ed. Karin van Nieuwkerk. Austin: University of Texas Press, 2006. 153-171.

Nieuwkerk, Karin van. "Gender, Conversion, and Islam." Women Embracing Islam: Gender and Conversion in the West. Ed. Karin van Nieuwkerk. Austin: University of Texas Press, 2006. 95-119.

Simmons, Gwendolyn Zoharah. "African American Islam as an Expression of Converts' Religious Faith and Nationalist Dreams and Ambitions." Women Embracing Islam: Gender and Conversion in the West. Ed. Karin van Niewkerk. Austin: University of Texas Press, 2006. 172 - 191.

Wohlrab-Sahr, Monkika. "Symbolizing Distance." Women Embracing Islam: Gender and Conversion in the West. Ed. Karin van Nieuwkerk. Austin: University of Texas Press, 2006. 71-92.

Zebiri, Kate. British Muslim Converts: Choosing Alternative Lives. Oxford: OneWorld Press, 2008.

Originally written for my Islam class in the spring of 2011