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Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Smarter Sex

The other night a friend and I were having a bit of discussion about the role of men and women in a marriage.... i.e. the "proper" role. He took the position that women should stay in the home because, "women suck at work." Obviously, as a woman who has worked hard for the past 20 years (I started at an early age of 12, filing and preparing mailings for my grandfather's family business), I took issue with his response. I asked him why he thought that women "sucked" at work, and he concluded that women are naturally bad at things like science and math, and therefore are no good for the workforce. He then asked me to name any one woman scientist that has contributed anything worthwhile to the world of science. A-hem. Marie Curie? His response? "Who's that?" I listed off some more women of science and other highly compitent women of history, none of which he was familiar with.

As he is my friend, and things were getting heated, I decided we should table this topic and "agree to disagree". I ponder at his thought process on this partly because I am a woman, partly because I have been a woman of science since I was a teenager and I hold a BS in Biology. Mostly though, I ponder his thoughts because I am curious about cultural differences and I am certain it has something to do with his mindset on this issue. So, how are we different?
  1. I am female, he is male (stating again for the list)
  2. I am born and raised American, he is born and raised Egyptian
  3. I was raised Christian, he was raised Muslim
These are the only differences that I am certain of. It may be possible that his mom did and does not work, whereas mine has worked my entire life and could easily be referred to as a work-aholic. Both of my grandmothers also worked outside of the house.  Therefore, our expereinces in the home could have differed in that way too. He is probably used to a different "normal" than I am.

I have decided to post this question of who is better at science and math, since that was his main reasoning, on my twitterfeed, @myownenigma77. I will update with what is presented in replies here in this blog. Feel free to add your comments here as well. I do ask please that you don't just leave an opinion, but also offer some type of referernce as well. Thanks!

Happy debating!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Interfaith Marriage

I have been trying to decide what would be my first actual blog post (as the first one obviously was not a discussion topic per say); I think I found it.

Tonight I read an article about interfaith marriage that I found from one of my fellow tweeters: http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/guestvoices/2010/07/chelsea_clinton_and_marc_mezvinsky_religion_and_interfaith_marriage.html

This topic, along with interracial marriages, has been one I have thought about and discussed with others since before I even started dating. I remember talking to my father about it and his thought was that it was a bad idea because of cultural differences that could be too great to overcome and could make the relationship very difficult. Of course, he also warned of how society not only views these relationships, but also how they treat the couple and and children they might have. I remember challenging with the "and what if I come home with a (enter a different ethnicity or religion here) boyfriend"? He quipped, "I'd disown you", but I knew he was not serious. But it did make him stop and think.

The article listed above irritated me when I read it. It referred to the idea of having one of the religions be the "lead" religion, and to still respect and acknowledge the other. I wonder how a couple would decide this. Draw from a hat? Draw straws? Have a debate about who's religion is better? If they are both firm in their beliefs, who decides? From the little I know, in Islam, it is ok to marry someone from another religion, but the children (if the father is Muslim) will be raised Muslim. I guess someone in the relationship could make their religion a "deal breaker" if it is that important to be the leader. I have always believed in equality and mutual respect. To me, having a "lead" religion shows neither.

Jewish and Christian? Christian and Muslim? Muslim and Jewish (somehow I think this does not happen regularly...)? Buddhist and Catholic? The combinations I suppose are as endless and the different spiritual beliefs people have. Heck... even in a particular religion there can be issues. Catholic and Protestant (oh my!)? Shia and Sunni (have mercy!)? Etc.. You get my point.

Even in a relationship where both are say... non-Catholic Christians. You can still end up not agreeing completely about your specific beliefs. Sure, in general you might go to the same church (or not.. Methodist and Lutheran anyone?), but do you agree 100% on every aspect of your spirituality? Probably not. Why? Your experiences from birth to whatever age you are now help define who you are, and also your spirituality. I think I can guarantee that no couple has ever had the exact same experiences individually. Its pretty much impossible for a heterosexual couple... I mean one partner has the experience of being female, and the other, male. (Duh)

I think the best way to deal with this question, IMHO, is to decide... how important is my exact spirituality, or religion, to me? Is it a make it or break it issue? What if you feel so strongly for someone... this is your one true love? Then, if your partner is more important than your individual religion... treat each other as equals. If you can't do that, then I guess you are a make it or break it person. But don't wait until after you marry to figure this out... Divorce is expensive, I hear. (So is therapy...)

What do you think?

Peace

Edited 7/29/10 at 1:11 am to add:  This article is well written and very aprapo, http://url4.eu/6Wv7s. Here is another that ddutifully explains statistics in relation to the last article: http://url4.eu/6WGBL


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Friday, July 23, 2010

What's in a name?


As with most names or titles, the name of this blog was chosen for a purpose. I mean for it to describe what I plan on blogging about. Many have probably heard this phrase used to describe something obvious to a set group of people that refuse to speak of it.

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/elephant-in-the-room.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant_in_the_room

But this is not my only meaning.

Have you heard the fable of the blind men and the elephant? If not, you can read a few versions in the links below.

http://www.milk.com/random-humor/elephant_fable.html
http://www.uiowa.edu/~cyberlaw/csl03/blindmen.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_men_and_an_elephant

So what will this blog be about? It will be about those things that many people find uncomfortable to talk about (i.e. contraversial topics), about the many facets of Truth, and about religion/spirituality. Often times, as you can probably guess, these three ideas will overlap.

I hope you enjoy my blog and please feel free to comment. The only rule I will have on comments will be this, and I will enforce it, be respectful of others.

Peace